Beauty in Pain.

Today Jesus showed up in a crazy way... ( as he always does)...
I was reading one of my dear friends blogs that I follow....and came across a blog that spoke mighty to my heart...and made me fall down in tears for the HOPE we have in the LORD...and how all pain has beauty.... Here is a womans story that changed apart of Kristen Johnson today..

www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com

Dear Nienie,
Thank you for being a woman who lives life with, courage, hope, faith and Beauty. Thank you for your heart, your words, the Story the Lord has sweetly woven in your life. Thank you for showing a broken heart healing and the God is beautiful in all Pain and he makes all things new for His sake. You radiant beauty not just phsyically but in your heart. I pray i will always see the beauty in the Pain and that my heart and life is changed by it. Thank you for radianting Jesus!!

Love,
KJ

"In you, O Lord, I take refuge; let me never be put to shame. In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; incline your ear to me and save me. Be to me a rock of refuge, a strong fortress, to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress. Rescue me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of the unjust and cruel. For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Upon you I have leaned from my birth; it was you who took me from my mother’s womb. My praise is continually of you." -Psalm 71:1-6

This is psalm that has been brought before me as a source of a plea for me during times that I cry to the Lord, when i doubt and wonder...How i can only imagine that this psalmist was facing major oppression, persecutions, loss and fear. How these words were his breathe of life as he faced others and his self. The whole verse is symbolic to me of his trust in the Lord, how the battle was brutal but he trusted his king. The feet of this warrior was mounted on a rock, not the sinking sand of the world.His heart was a mess but knowing that he could not do it with the Hand of the Lord.

I pray this not just for myself but for the people of hati,the nations, those who do not know Jesus, my friends and family, the orphans....

Lay it down

"I lay it down

I lay it down

I lay it down

at your feet."

- Worship song at IBC

A few weeks ago we worshiped to this song at church, as I was encountering the Lord He continues to speak this things over me. I had no idea what he was calling me to down but to lay down my flesh, my heart, my sin, my fear before his feet. As i left that service He continued to woe me with those lyrics and I still did not understand...until now (and I do not know if i still know why he was) ....

When I think about the idea to lay down, I think about nap time. How my body lays down, my eyes close, my hands release all energy, my legs relax and I am in a place of total surrender to my covers. Some times i cover my face because I don't want light, or I just want to snuggle next to my huggy bear.My body is lighter than it was before. Even though my anxiety may creep in i am at peace in a place of solitude.

Over the past few weeks i have had to lay it down, lay it down, lay it down.To surrender who I am to God who knows me best. I surrender to things i could not change. To surrender to rejection,fear and anxiety. To surrender my flesh and how my heart is a mess without Jesus. To surrender and to lay it down at the feet of our Savior and to leave it there. Remarkably I have then experienced being lighter, at peace, in a place of sweet solitude. So as I continue to lay it down, which im not good at but learning...

I can say:

"I trust you, I trust you, I trust you, and your Will Lord is my desire."

Perspective

I just finished a very transforming book,it was short, filled with perspective, wisdom and matters of the heart. I wanted to mark every page of the book.....

One perspective I learned more about was mountain tops and valleys....

The mountain top is Cold, there is not a lot of growth that happens, a lot of things do not survive for very long, it is an exhausting place to reach and a lot of times we only look for the mountain top experiences, it is rocky, steep, dangerous at times. You don't know the way the mountain top feels unless you have been there, made the hike, been drained of all energy, you have to experience it. But it can be also be a place of Praise, anointing, a sense of accomplishment that you made it there but eventually your heart will yearn to be back home, climbing through the valleys...

Now the valleys we have all been there a time or two, they are always different when we visit. But unlike the Mountain top their is green luscious grass, the seeds of rebirth, old trees that have grown and been rooted in time. The valley floods at times are filled with sorrow, fear, urgency and even at time devastation. But we grow, we climb the mountain and we appreciate the mountains ridges, uneven ground and growth. It is where we grow, get cleanse and hydrated and have time alone.

It challenges me to think about Jesus and how no matter what he guides his people through the valleys, speaking tenderly to them, catching each tear of frustration, grief and anger, how He roots us through our Valleys and makes His people mighty for His plan and Will. But He is also on that mountain top with us, arms wide open, blood sweat and tears rolling down His body saying.." Trust me, I will never leave you nor forsake you precious one.."

I am thankful today for the Mountain tops and the Valleys!!!

Back to Blogging world...

Reading is something that I absolutely love to do, engaging on others written words and being taken to a place of the soul that Words can only do.... Its not just reading that i find my connections with words but its though things spoken, prayed, priased, sung at top of an un toned voice that speak tenderly to my spirit. I can hear a child come up to me and say my name and it melts me, or the way my friend candice's voice sounds when she is cooking in the kitchen,or the way my heart cries in silence or aloud. I connect with Words, it is the way I love, the way i hear Jesus, the way I know i need to change.

My dearest friend Sarah, (girl next to me in pic to my right), God has given her the gift to write and use her words for the kingdom. I beg her to write at times just wanting to hear what Jesus has to say through her, and she always tells me, be patient God is working on my next writing, and every time she does it pours from the Saviors Mouths, it is a radiant aroma of Jesus truth and Hope unseen. It takes my heart to a place only the Word of God can take us.
check her out sometime. www.imeanwhatif.blogspot.com

God is speaking some mighty words in me and I can not wait to document His Words. Thank you to my Lord and friends who have shown me ways to speak, seek and understand words.

Some friends like to call me the "cry baby", which at times I totally see it fitting but lately my tears have been an overflow of my imperfections and how I am so in need for that guy JESUS. I think the new nick name should be Weeping willow...

Like schools need teachers, like kathy lee needs regis, like peanut butter needs chocolate.. I need my SAvIOR ..JESUS....


WOrd!

Dont miss it!!

On Sunday, March 2, 6:00, get your hearing fixed!
“Cry of the Poor” “If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered!” (Proverbs 21:13)
In a noisy culture of affluence, the sounds of the city can make a person deaf...deaf to the muted cries of children in the streets, the hungry bellies of mothers, and the hopelessness of families struggling to survive.
Join Mission Waco, Church Under the Bridge and University Baptist Church on Sunday evening, March 2, 6:00, at the UBC building, 1701 Dutton Ave, to hear some of America’s young prophetic voices and songs and have your ears opened to the cries of the poor.
Shane Claiborne AND the David Crowder Band